A poem by Carol Dorman (copyright 2004)
glad to be single and there's no denying
the joy of no debts and no strings and no trying
to contrive a way to avoid looking desperate
as I offer him love and yet never expect it.
glad to be single and it's a sure fact
that my life is so full, I've no room for a cat
lest my time be diverted from service and love
given freely to others, storing treasures above.
glad to be single and used by the Lord
single minded to follow his excellent word
I could live for myself, for my kids or my man
but to this I was called and by this I shall stand.
glad to be single and I'm ready to go
to the ends of the earth in the sun or the snow
with a backpack or suitcase in a plane or a car
to encourage God's people wherever they are.
glad to be single in spite of wed women
whose misguided pity so often will lead them
to infer that mine is so sad a condition
and presume I am faking this joy that I live in.
glad to be single and please understand
that my love is for God (not my lust for a man)
and the lessons I've learned in these years of aloneness
have strengthened my faith unto patience and wholeness.
you glad you are married? Did you wait or rush in?
Do you wish you were single, starting over again?
Is your prince less than royal and your castle a barn?
Has your dream expectation lost it's fairy tale charm?
content where you are and be glad you are married
for upon that sad day when your prince you have burried
you will see with new eyes how our Lord can sustain
every single who loves Him and honors his name.
glad to be single, just like my sweet Jesus
who lived and who died and who rose up to teach us
that singles and marrieds must walk humbly by
until He calls us home to our place in the sky.
Provocation from the author:
On Getting Dates
Being glad that I'm single isn't the same as rejecting marriage. If it were, I would have written a very different poem. No, being glad to be single is about recognizing the reality that we all experience singleness in our lives at one time or another and it's an honorable condition of life - so don't knock it. Some people experience it intermitently, but everyone has been single. The idea that singleness must be escaped at all costs is total nonsense and springs from a youthful fear of the unknown, I think. Everyone is different....and everyone has their prejudices. I find the older I get, the more obvious theprejudices become.
I have met many single men who are unwed simply because they haven't found the right nice lady. I have been asked out by a variety of decent men and I believe it is because I am "nice." Naturally, I have my moments of ugly (first thing in the morning, usually) but on the whole - niceness is the commodity of the dating trade. That translates into "politeness" and "dressing for the occasion" and actually hearing and valuing what others think & feel. That'll get you a date. After that, (assuming you're also the right person) just remember to be kind and genuine.
However, if you still want to find a husband but you don't want to improve yourself or give up anything in the process of finding him then you need a more robust philosophy of singleness, I think. Here is an other-worldly version of my poem for those with nothing left to learn. I hope it shakes you up.
I'm glad to be single and grumpy and fat
Nothing's my fault
(you can ask my 5th cat).
I've accepted myself and think change would be wrong
I've read all the books and I've sung every song.
I'm glad to be single in spite of the stories
from widows with lifetimes of love's tender glories.
I've achieved fame and fortune (in my own little way)
and I don't care to share it or trade it away.
I'm glad to be single and in total command
I couldn't submit
to an alternate plan.
I'm a Christian in name (it's a foggy condition)
but a friend to the world (so I don't have to listen).
I'm glad to be single and a victim of fate
I've got truckloads of baggage and a piled-high plate.
I could never abandon these things at the cross
They define me, you see - not the gold but the dross.
I'm glad I'm not married and I'll always be free
to lock up my heart in the coffin of "me".
When the last lonely guy dares to knock on the lid
I will grouse "Go away!" And that's just what he did.