Dragon-Slaying: 101

You are probably a church-going Christian woman if you're reading this page. Why do I say that? Well, porn addiction is both condemned and rampant in religious communities but unlike the world at large, religious people actually want to be good. Just like you want to be good. But you're not as good as you wish you were so here you are, reading my page. So the question is, why are those who aspire to be the best ending up as the worst of sinners? That is, why are clergy turning out to be the worst pornography addicts? To understand this apparent contradiction, you have to understand the many faceted nature of sin.

See him for who he can be.
Sin is a very ugly word that people simply don't like to use. It refers to any person's thought or deed which defies God's life-sustaining laws as laid out in the Jewish scriptures and clarified in the Christian scriptures (The Bible: "Old" and "New" testaments). There are ceremonial laws in scripture and moral laws in scripture but sin only refers to the moral laws. Most Churchgoers are quick to say "we are all sinners" and yet are loath to say "I am a sinner." There is an irrational perfectionism and hypocrisy in us that leads us to shy away from taking God's words to heart. We don't like to get personal with God and in fact, we seldom get personal with anyone anymore. This superficiality is fertile ground for sin to grow in.


Satan took the form of a serpent and tempted Eve to take a fruit which God had expressly forbidden. Eve was gullible - she believed a talking snake - so she ate it and gave it to Adam. All she did was hand him the fruit. No song & dance. No build up. She just handed it to him. Adam was not deceived. He knew what he was doing. At that very moment, they both realized their guilt. From that moment we were all plunged into sin because we are their children. It's like a terminal genetic defect and yet we are each individually responsible for our own sins. Most people claiming to be Christians don't believe Adam & Eve were real people but they were. Oh, they were. You and I are their actual physical descendants.

How can this be? The prohibition against marrying close kin didn't come until the Law of Moses, a good 2500 years after creation. Until then, it was common to take a wife from one's own family - starting with sisters. We are their actual descendants and we carry their sin nature. We are born with it and we are willing accomplices to it.


In the Evangelical Christian culture, we know what most of the rules are even if we don't take them very seriously. We also know that the Messiah came in the form of a man - eternal God and finite man in one - and he paid the fair penalty for Adam's sin and our sins too through his crucifixion. The New Testament clearly states that we can enter the Kingdom of God by believing Jesus and following him in loving obedience. Just as Adam & Eve left the Kingdom by their act of faithlessness (believing a lie), we can reenter it by living a life of faithfulness to God because of what Jesus did. You know the Gospel, I don't have to repeat it here for you, do I? Faith is the step and Messiah is the doorway. It is a conscious act of will that is inspired by God. If we do not renounce sin and leave the old lifestyle behind, our "faith" is fraud. There are a lot of phonies out there so beware and read the Bible for yourself.

Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Encourage him to fight the good fight.

Our relationship with God the father, God the Messiah (son) and God the Holy Spirit starts with our need to learn from him. Think about it for a moment. If we were born with complete knowledge of God and the universe then we would have nothing to talk to Him about! "Come to me... Learn from me." Christ wants to talk with you and be in personal fellowship with you. Far too many Churchgoers fail to understand this. They look at God as a tool. They pray prayers in order to get what they want. Like the teenager who never speaks to his dad except to ask for money. That's not much of a relationship, it's just a start. Likewise, Jehovah God desires a sincere loving friendship with each of us and he likes to be asked for spiritual stuff.

When you take a step of real faith, abandoning your former sinful life and take Messiah's hand (so to speak) then he will hold you up. He will teach you. He will draw you closer into fellowship with himself. You will spend the rest of your life learning from him and walking with him and growing in wisdom as you read the scriptures and talk with him. Don't expect him to talk to you through the ceiling but He will make himself known to you in special ways unique to you. He'll guide you to scriptures that answer your questions and people and places that show you truths you seek. He'll speak to your heart in ways I can't describe. It's an amazing thing! The Holy Spirit is closer and more intimately involved in a true believer's life than any brother, sister, husband, child or parent could ever be. He knows how rotten you really are deep down and he loves you anyway - because your guilt has been transferred to Jesus - paid in full.


He is fighting every man's battle.

God is Real. He told us in scripture that the Messiah will judge everyone at the last day. It's frightening reality. He is just and perfect but he is also eager to forgive repentant sinners with a sincerely regretful heart. You have an invitation from God to reenter the kingdom by faith in Jesus Christ the Messiah and it doesn't matter how bad your former sins are as long as you intend to leave them behind.

How does all this relate to my man's porn addiction? Ladies, God cannot used you in his life until you're an empty vessel, totally yielded to his purpose. If you're still full of your own ideals and expectations of what a good man should be then God can't use you here.

The Christian porn User: When God saves us, he doesn't reform us - he transforms us. How can we know those porn-addicted pastors and husbands are really in God's kingdom to start with?


Firstly, only God knows the heart. We can only look at the fruit of that heart. When God shines a light on someone's sin - whatever the sin is - then that means he wants it dealt with. A genuine Christian is someone who is willing to deal with their sin when God puts them on the proverbial hot seat. And what's more, a true Christian is someone on whose sin God often shines a light. So if a person claims to be a Christian and yet remains comfortable or indifferent about his obvious sin (lying, gossiping, fornicating etc.) then you have good reason to doubt he's heaven-bound. It's really hard to tell if a public figure is a Christian because the fear of public scrutiny is so great. It's impossible to know without research whether they "repented" because they fear God or because they fear earthly losses. Pray for discernment!

Secondly, sex sin is more complicated than it appears. When porn grows deep roots in a mans life over the years, it can take lots of time to get it out. Why? Porn isn't a singular problem. Porn is a teacher of lies. When you believe lies for a long time, it really messes you up! It's like being in a cult. Picking up a magazine or visiting the wrong website are symptoms of a paradigm problem, a wrong world-view. It's like believing the earth is flat. Asking God to miraculously "take away the urge" is like asking for a brain transplant. It doesn't work like that...he needs to learn & believe the truth. That is a matter of education and conviction, not of healing. (Although, for some men, a little miracle or two is all they need to help them focus on rerouting their lives toward purity.)

Remember what Jesus said, "...Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." "LEARN FROM ME". He needs to be God's full-time student, not the dragon's. He has to stop listening to lies and instead fill his mind with the truth.

But the truth is often painful. Hebrews 4:12 says, "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." That is a very frightening thing to anyone but particularly to a man in porn's deceptive grasp. Porn appears to offer endless pleasure and God truth appears to offer only pain. That's a hard sell.

Your job is to quietly live the truth before him and let the Lord provide your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10b "Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."
Galatians 5:1 "Walk in the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."
1 Peter 3:1-2 "In the same way, you wives, [honor] your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior."
Proverbs 25:21-22 "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the LORD will reward you."
Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Psalm 56:8 "You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?"

What lies does Pornography teach? Lie #1: sex will fulfill all your needs for intimacy. Lie #2: sex will fulfill all your needs for power. Lie #3: sex will fulfill all your needs for respect. Lie #4: imaginary sex doesn't hurt anybody.

God help us to believe the truth instead of lies!

This path I suggest can be a bumpy ride. This is spiritual warfare of a very real nature. Fits of anxiety, times of sudden depression & doubt, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, prayer times that envelope you.... expect these. Stay on track, keep praying, keep learning, keep loving in a 1st Corinthians 13 way. Yield to God and make sure it really is God you're yielding to. Don't participate in his sin. Confess your sins. Go all the way.

Here are some great places you should start your education: Pure Life Ministries, Grace To You

If you're not totally convinced that Adam & Eve were real living breathing people who lived about 6000 years ago at the beginning of the world then do some research here: answersingenesis.org If you won't go all the way with this then you can't expect him to.

Will you be there?